Loren – My Story

Rob & Susan – Our Story
June 5, 2024
Jess – My Story
June 11, 2024
Rob & Susan – Our Story
June 5, 2024
Jess – My Story
June 11, 2024

Loren – My Story

My name is Loren. This is my story.

I always had my crushes growing up. I loved David and Shaun Cassidy, Burt Ward, and Bruce Lee, among others. I didn’t know how to describe it, but I was in love with my best friend. I always wanted to have sleep overs and play and take baths together.

In high school, I was also in love with my best friend. But by this time, I knew what gay meant and I dared not say its name.

While I technically had a boyfriend when I was 18 in 1987, I was too afraid to come out. It was conservative America amidst the AIDS crisis and my relationship ended when I was given an ultimatum to come out. And I just couldn’t.

Then, in 1992, President Clinton was running and brought gay people to the forefront with his pledge to end the ban in the military. Everybody was suddenly talking about gay people and I felt emboldened to come out.

In fact, I exploded out of the closet and just started to come out to everyone. I told all my friends within the first couple weeks. I attended my first Pride in West Hollywood and made my first gay friends. But I didn’t tell my family until a year later.

I told my sister first and she couldn’t believe it. But ultimately, she was supportive. My mom was next, a few months later. She did not respond well. She wasn’t mad at me. Just sad. She had lost so many gay friends to AIDS and thought my coming out was a death sentence. So every time I talked to her, she would just cry.

I didn’t talk to her for six months and finally she called me. She had talked with my grandmother who said she knew and that everything would be fine. She also went to PFLAG. She was ready to talk and become my happy mom again.

The last person who I cared to come out to was my dad. I was so scared because he always preferred macho culture. I actually threw up before telling him. Surprisingly, my dad took it very well, as if I told him I was brown eyed. He just said, “OK – now I know what to tell people when they ask.” I always found it humorous that people apparently asked him.

Of course, as all gay people do, we have to come out every day. But the people that mattered the most knew. And that made me happy.

I will finish with something my grandmother told me. She said that she knew for many years that I was gay but kept it a secret. When I told her everybody knows now she said, “Oh, I know. I just don’t like to brag!”

Happy Pride!

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