This is an excerpt from the author’s blog post dated 29th June 2014.

My name is Paula. This is my story.

After attending my first ever Pride event with some friends we were all in need of a drink and a restroom. We knew that London’s Trafalgar Square was going to be a zoo so we adjourned to a local hostelry.

Of course, the pub was mostly occupied by revellers from Pride but we did end up in conversation with the guys at the next table. In all, I ended up enjoying myself a little too much until I suddenly realised just how late it had gotten and had to make a mad dash for home.

I was sorry to yet again miss an opportunity to hear the fabulous London Gay Big Band in action but I was already committed to a local band performance myself. I arrived home less than ten minutes before a friend was due to pick me up, still in full make up and displaying scarlet nail polish and a selection of subtle, but still very fem, jewelry. There was no way that I was going to be able to do my transformation act in time – and indeed, I had no inclination to, as these days I find I am just so much more comfortable presenting my true self.

The All-Saints Concert Band is a very friendly local community band which I have been involved with ever since its inception way back in 1975. Last night I was actually the only one in attendance who had been at the first performance, but there were several people I have known for many, many years. All these factors combined to create a sort of perfect storm.

So I was left with a choice: I could just change into my dinner jacket and leave on my makeup and nail polish, or put on a black dress. All things considered, I thought that the dinner jacket was likely to send a more confused message than a dress, so one of my more conservative and comfortable black dresses it was.

I don’t generally like to just surprise people like this but somehow last night it just seemed right. Generally, I like to sit down with someone while presenting as the man they are used to, explain about being trans, and then maybe show them a few photos. This is a model that has worked so far, as I have not had any negative reactions. I have had a couple of surprised ones, but nothing negative. Having found a model that works, why change it, I thought? 

When my friend came to pick me up, he barely raised an eyebrow, but then again, he is one of the most laid-back people I know. Then when I arrived at the venue pretty much the only comments I got were complimentary and positive.

After the concert we all went to a local hostelry for some refreshments. I did have to make some explanations, but once again everything was very positive. If anybody had any negative thoughts, they certainly didn’t come my way!

One girl I spoke to afterwards was very interested, and admitted that I had been confusing her. She had wondered if I was gay but couldn’t reconcile that with my being married and having a daughter. Well, now she knew and was reassured by knowing. If I’d worn the dinner jacket that would probably have confirmed this wrong impression.

After I explained, and asked people to call me Paula, no one forgot and I was correctly gendered throughout. What a wonderful bunch of people!

I know there have been rumours circulating; at least they will not be rumours anymore.