“You have AIDS”

 

December 1, 2017

Originally shared by actress Alexandra Billings on her Facebook page.

It wasn’t a surprise, but it was a shock.

It was deafening and the words rang through the center of my gut and cut my breath short and buckled my knees. I gripped the sides of the table that was draped in white crinkled paper and stared at the empty white plastered walls. My wife looked up at me and I felt her heart beating from across the room and I heard the way she tried to sound calm when everything we knew had been smashed flat by the man in the white white coat

“Can you say it again?” I asked him

“You have AIDS.” the doctor said, staring hard and fidgeting with the chart in his hands

“Am I going to die? When am I going to die?” I asked

I was barely 30 years old.

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